Ahhh its been awhile and too long at that, but here it is, another entry into events that seem to disturb me emotionally, i shouldnt be writitng this stuff as em prob being looked at or something, who knows huh? anyway here we go so if your not already sitting please do take a seat and get yourself comfortable...lets go, where to start? hahaha so lost but thats just me requiring a map, its just funny how sometimes little actions kick off something you cant stop and have no control over, I dislike being who i am at the moment, em well angry at myself so my general mood is slowly turning for the worst once more, we all have our ups and downs but this is too much, I have felt ergh pathetic in the past but now this is something new, i feel small, insignificant and alone, my voice isnt being heard partly due to the fact that em struggling to find the words and also when i do find them theyre out of place and have no relevance to what was being said prior to me having opened up, thats all nice and well and it happens but just the fact that I dont seem to be able to cope with something, last nite i was scared for my own safety, i had a strange feeling i was going to get into a lot of trouble real quick for something i did not do or start, i guess just me being there upset afew people, ahh sucks soo bad, but ultimately i did not manage to do what i set out to do because its not conventional, i have thought it through and em in a postion where i can lose alot more than i could gain so its best i sit down shut up and pretend all is well, prob should think about closing my eyes too, it all just gets to me and this month, well last month too i have been struggling to stay focused and on top, I was doing great prior to the whole ordeal but now like I said em struggling to gather my composure, working hard to put
everything together and gain hold of who i em and not continue to be distracted, maybe my purpose here in this life is to act as someone on the recieveing end of peoples unhappines so they offload shit onto me to ultimately feel better about themselves, maybe...i shall ponder this some more and if it all makes sense well, we can fix all this.. maybe i nid to take a rest and breathe into a fresh air agen.. usin' this crappy odd paper to move destinations.. XD
hollaback, gypsy gurL wud be outtah headin' to another place in time XD..
everything together and gain hold of who i em and not continue to be distracted, maybe my purpose here in this life is to act as someone on the recieveing end of peoples unhappines so they offload shit onto me to ultimately feel better about themselves, maybe...i shall ponder this some more and if it all makes sense well, we can fix all this.. maybe i nid to take a rest and breathe into a fresh air agen.. usin' this crappy odd paper to move destinations.. XD
